Stef broke his arm the same day I found out I was pregnant. He called me just after 8am from the hospital, woke me up in fact. "My own stupid fault", he said. "My foot slipped off my pedal. I was only going 3k an hour." I told him to call me back when he was ready to be picked up. Then I went back to sleep. I've been lying in bed a lot these past few weeks. I figured it can't hurt.

An hour or so later, I wake up to him standing over me with a cast. With a sling and everything. He looks surprisingly cheerful, considering. His grin has acceptance. You win some, you lose some it said. I look up, eyes glassy from oversleeping. "Hi there lefty", I say as I stretch my two good arms over my head. My dog, Jack, who's curled up next to me, stretches out his back too and groans.

I get up and make us tea. Leaded for Stef, decaf for me. I'm playing it ultra save, which was really hard at first but now my body's used to it. It's been exactly 11 days since my embryo transfer and according to all the chat rooms I've been poring over, a home pregnancy test should be able to detect if I'm knocked up or not. Stef wants to wait for the blood test because it may not be entirely conclusive. I can't wait for two reasons; 1. i'm impulsive. 2. it's my frikkin body we're talking about and I want to know what's going on. But Stef asks me to wait until the end of the week because that way, if it's negative, he'll have the weekend to mourn. I respect his wishes, but wonder if I should do one in secret. It'll be a damned hard secret to keep if it's positive though.

Stef decides he's in too much pain to go back to the office and takes the day off. Around 2pm he gets bored and decides to watch a documentary in the bedroom. I'm in the living on the computer when I jump up and run to the bathroom. "Screw it, I can't wait any longer." I figured I'll tell him regardless of the result, we've got the rest of the day to digest it. Before I can change my mind, it's a free flow onto the stick, the most expensive stick I could buy, in fact. Instantly the thing lights up with two lines. I stare at it, half expecting one of the lines to fade away. But it doesn't, for the first time ever for me, IVF has resulted in a pregnancy.

I catch my breath and walk into the bedroom, the piss stick in my hoodie pocket. Stef looks at me slightly annoyed, then asks we why I'm opening all the blinds, he's still got 45 minutes left of his doc. I sit down next next time him in bed, trying not to burst into song. I don't say anything, just smile and pull the stick out of my pocket and, face down and out it in his hand. He looks at it, shocked. I start to cry.