Life continues, just not in me. My little guys decided to not stick around, even though I did promise them chocolate cupcakes for their first birthday. So I'm trying to focus on all the things I don't have to worry about at the moment, like constipation from pre-natal vitamins or remembering to take my hormones, morning afternoon and night. It's also quite nice to not be a miserable bag of hormones and worry whether I might break into tears in the middle of doing my groceries.

I kind of knew that they didn't take. At the start of the transfer I was super excited and was gleeful that this was my time, but after 10 days, I just of kind of knew. No baby dreams, no sore boobs, no nausea, nowt. So it wasn't a total shock when Nurse Maureen called. And even before she even mentioned the test results her tone of voice gave it away. She must have to practice that tone of voice. "Poor nurse", I thought after I hung the phone. Every time she goes to work she has to break people's hearts.

And now back to my regular routine. Off to the gym I go, pumped up a cup of caffeinated coffee.

Feeling Weird

I feel weird. I'm so used to not feeling myself lately that I'm not sure if it's just a new wave of the old weirdness or something completely new. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Luckily I'm past the halfway mark. Just. I still have 7 more days to go before my Big Blood Test.

I over-analyzed the fuck out of my body last time and told myself I wouldn't to that this time, that I'd graduated from such first-timer naivete, but here I am again scanning IVF forum sites, hungry for as many stories and details as I can absorb. Thank god I've had some teaching to do this week to distract me. It curtails my incessant researching and lets a stomach twang remain but a stomach twang.

From all my reading, I've learned that a lot of women in my predicament will buy home pregnancy tests and starting pissing on them a couple of days after their embryo transfer. Sounds like a big waste of money considering it's rare that you'll have enough of HCG(Human chorionic gonadotropin)in your system to register anything. But it's day 7, almost day 8 for me, a completely different ball game, right?

I think London Drugs might be getting some of my money tomorrow. What can I say, I was never one to leave the presents untouched under the tree on Christmas eve. I always gave them a squeeze.

My First Blog

Here goes. I actually got my husband to set me up years ago, before he was even my husband, but I lamed out and never wrote anything. I guess I was lazy or scared or a combo of the two, but I'm now less afraid of what people think. Unfortunately I'm still lazy though. We'll see how this whole blogging thing unfolds. We'll see if in the past ten years my motivation has changed. Stay tuned.